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Day 3 of 90

Please, thank you, and how to be polite

Courtesy, tú and usted. About 10 minutes. Grammar: the usted register.

You can get a long way on hola and gracias, but knowing when to switch to usted is what stops you sounding like a tourist reading from a card.

The courtesy words

Four words that make every other sentence land better.

por favorpleaseGoes at the end of the sentence far more often than at the start.
graciasthank youmuchas gracias for thank you very much. muchas, not muchos.
de nadayou are welcomeLiterally of nothing. The standard reply.In Spain: de nada
perdónsorry, excuse meFor bumping into someone or interrupting. lo siento is for real apologies.
Why it works this way

perdón and lo siento are not interchangeable, and swapping them is the most common early mistake. perdón asks for a small pardon in the moment, so it fits squeezing past someone. lo siento means I feel it, so it belongs to bad news and genuine fault. Using lo siento to get past someone on a bus sounds strange in the same way sorry for your loss would.

Asking without demanding

Spanish softens requests with a question, not with extra words.

¿me ayuda, por favor?can you help me, please?Polite form. Present tense as a question is already a request.
¿puede repetir?could you repeat that?The single most useful sentence in your first month.
más despacio, por favorslower, pleaseSay this early and often. Nobody minds.
no entiendoI do not understandClear and honest. Better than nodding.
Why it works this way

English piles on words to be polite: would you mind possibly. Spanish mostly does not. A plain present tense verb turned into a question is already courteous, and por favor finishes the job. Adding more words does not make you sound more polite, it makes you sound uncertain.

tú or usted

The decision you make in the first second of every conversation.

túyou, informalFriends, family, children, colleagues your own age, anyone who uses it with you first.
ustedyou, politeStrangers, older people, officials, and anyone whose job puts them in front of you.
¿nos tuteamos?shall we use tú?The actual phrase people use to drop the formality.
ustedesyou, pluralIn Latin America this is the only plural you, formal or not.In Spain: vosotros
Why it works this way

This is the one place where Latin American and Spanish usage genuinely splits. Spain keeps a separate informal plural, vosotros, with its own set of verb endings. Latin America dropped it, so ustedes covers every group of people you address, and that is one whole verb form you do not have to learn. This course teaches the Latin American default, and the switch at the top of each lesson shows the Spain form where it differs.

When in doubt, use usted

Being too formal reads as respectful and slightly stiff. Being too informal with the wrong person reads as presumptuous. The cost of the two mistakes is not equal, so start with usted and let the other person move you to tú. In much of Colombia, Costa Rica and the Andes, usted is used even between friends and family, so do not assume it is cold.

Carry these forward

Four lines from today that later days assume you know.

por favorplease
¿puede repetir?could you repeat that?
no entiendoI do not understand
ustedyou, polite

Check yourself

Eight questions. Finishing them marks the day done.

Question 1 of 8

You need to squeeze past someone on a crowded bus. You say

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